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December 15th, 2015 by Cherry

Yes some random guy decided to drop that ‘truth bomb’ on me because I didn’t want to shake his hand as I was walking down Hollywood. Now I want to be clear he was dressed Christmas Spiderman so was one of the people who get tips from tourists for posing with them. So in my mind politely declining was no big deal usually they walk on to another mark but not this guy. 

I suppose its part and parcel that a lot of men believe that women/females of all ages exist for the sole purpose of amusing them but sorry nope. I have a right to wear a cute outfit and not expect to be bothered by crazy guys in bad cosplay. I must admit that I spend my life avoiding confrontation from my style of dress to behavior I try to stay under the radar. Of course being a wallflower means that nice guys don’t notice me either so am working walking a fine line.

Over the next year I have decided (again) to find a good guy so am back on dating sites and asking/telling everyone to set me up with SANE guys. The proof of the pudding is if I find my Han Solo to my Princess Leia (I’m spunky, feisty, willful and will NOT be tamed) so want a guy with a little swagger and a heart of gold. 

I plan to practice with my internet dates so have decided to cut most of them major slack. Unless I think they are married or looking for a NSA and than a big NOPE! I am going to meet one guy for coffee this week but he is already at a deficiet since I had to ask HIM if he wanted to meet for coffee after he sent a passive aggresive text saying ‘I suppose you aren’t interested’ which is true I don’t want  a wimp since I’ll walk all over him. Am hoping he will step up and impress my low requirements <ha ha>.

Other than that am working on figuring out what I want since I am very clear about what I do NOT want!

Anyon else trying to end the year with a NYE date?

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December 11th, 2015 by Cherry

So am driving today and got reminded that dating is freaking hard as hell in Los Angeles! Two riders got in the car and was talking about one girls midweek date. She had gone and met the OKCupid date at his apt (first mistake of online dating) but had been mislead by the zip code only to realize that he was rent control. So she announces it is the WORST date ever (and I thought your young wait till  ytour over 30!) and than starts to list the creepiness of his trying to mack her into the bedroom. I agreed after she repeated his compliment of ‘you have such beautiful eyes they remind me of my dead sister’s eyes’ <scream> yoinks I can not believe she didn’t run screaming out of his apartment! She than drops a few more fact bombs about how he’d just gottend out of jail after serving six months for stealing his ex-girlfriends violin out of spite unluckily for him she was a cop and ‘wasn’t willing to tolerate his mess’. Everytime I talk to other singles over 30 the stories of what is left out here gets worse execpt for when someone finds a diamond (than I’m overcome with jealousy … just kidding). 

I always say to meet someone in a public centrally located place and to use a google voice number until you decide you are comfortable with them having your real number. It is awful to have to decide rather to dump your number after some nutjob decides to harass you over the phone. It has happaned to me and I just deal with it since I refuse to give up my phone number. But sometimes the crazy calls I get from some random douche posting my email/phone number on NSA sights gets me pretty upset. 

Just another day as a Uber driver where people act like they are in a self driving car. I am just happy that nobody has tried to have sex yet.

Uber Sex in the city – #1

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January 4th, 2015 by Cherry

So I read this story in the New York Times and found it amusing. Who doesn’t want to feel special? Who doesn’t want to find love? I know I do even when I shout from the rooftops that I give up. I haven’t since I’m a romantic at heart. I’m not like the woman who wrote this since I’ve met enough men of Craigslist, Match, Plenty of Fish, OK Cupid and other sites that I now look at them side eyes but I haven’t give up on  meeting someone. I am fighting the fantasy of ‘meeting cute’ from the romcoms that I watched when I was young but still would love to meet my other half, prince charming and love but you have to keep your antenna up since people lie. I’ve found watching ID TV with all the horrors of ‘my date from hell’ that reminds everyone you have to be careful. One of the big things I’ve learned is NEVER let someone pick you up at your place till you know them enough to feel comfortable. I’ve learned that the HARD way with situations that left me feeling uncomfortable, intimidated and scared. So NOBODY comes in my place till I’m sure they are trustworthy. Just the same when men start to say really soon after meeting me that ‘they want kids’ or ‘want to get married’ well I’ve found that’s usually them manipulating me to parrot my deeply held dream of a family.  I’m not saying to not date or fall in love you have to be careful. It doesn’t matter if your in a small town in Minnesota or the big city of Dallas people are the same. Some are good. Some are bad. Some are honest and some … well you get the picture.

What have you learned dating? Leave a what NOT to do or TO DO below …


Credit Brian Rea

Posted in culture, Dating, Los Angeles Tagged with: , , , , , , , , ,

December 28th, 2014 by Cherry

Studio Sequin Party Dress ChampagneUrghh I was really hoping for a major fun party this NYE and even had my dream dress in mind from Eloquii that’s all about my ‘stand out from the crowd’ sexy up my style! But alas no plans for NYE so am going to be home in sweatpants in front of Plus size lounge active sweatshirtmy new LG SmartTV. Phooey! Ah well no date is about on par for my year. My mind has been full of figuring out my next career steps so I’m INTERESTED in meeting a guy but was just too busy to get my heart in the right place. Now 2015 is shaping up to be a year of dating since I’m feeling more steady and focused on my life plan (find a new job, get in shape AGAIN .. urghh, date/relationship). I’m really enjoying working at USC (LOVE LOVE that school) and am looking to stay but still have feelers out for the perfect job (I feel like Goldilocks … mmm CURLYlocks tee hee).  Over the past 2 months as I emerge from my cocoon have had a little flirtation with a couple of guys. Now nothing came of it since I’m just practicing by dipping my toe in the water but can feel my mind/heart finally on the same page to open up and try another relationship. I’ve taken sage advice from my friend and am ‘making room’ for someone so am in the process of clearing out my apartment as well as old memories of past relationships. I’m not trying to make a Frankenboyfriend ala the best bits of guys I dated nope I’m ready to leave my ‘type’ alone since that’s never worked out the way I planned.

What’s your New Year Eve Plan?? Let me know (comments) maybe I’ll join you!


Posted in culture, Dating, Los Angeles Tagged with: , , , , , ,

November 17th, 2014 by Cherry

Hmm well I read this week’s Cancer Friskyscopes and all I can say is WTH (what the heck you dirty minded cursers!). This literally has NOTHING to do with this boring close to hearth cancer! Now October/November has been good to me since I’ve been meeting men the last few months that I liked not that the feelings were returned enough to ask me on a date BUT they have been some major flirting! It’s been a while so my flirt skills are pretty rusty but like the Tin Man with a little oil I’m getting less squeaky! I am working on my impenetrable chastity belt (over my heard once again put away the dirty mind!) since I’ve been so focused on not getting hurt that I have a force field at level 10 with everyone (dating opps and new friends) but over the last few months I’ve been dialing it down. I’m hoping … no I INTEND on 2015 to be a new year of my being open to all possibilities! Hmm didn’t I say that in 2014? That didn’t work out to well but my fingers are crossed that after leaping ..well falling over hurdles and evaluating my life decisions that I’m a better woman. Well maybe not better but someone who’s being honest about themselves. Anyone other cancers feeling a little bereft at 2014 winds down? Leave a comment below about your plans for the new year …

CancerYour Friskyscopes For The Week Of August 25-31, 2014 (June 21-July 22): Just because someone is super generous, doesn’t mean they love you. It could be that they’re kind like that, they don’t worry about money or they are overcompensating. Whatever the deal, don’t create your own storyline and get ahead of yourself. Avoid coming to any conclusions, as keeping everything open-ended now will help you stay on your feet.

Best Lay Day: Friday, November 21

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October 6th, 2014 by Cherry

It’s the beginning of the week and I’m still trying to catch my breath.  Part of the problem is it’s TOO DAMNED HOT in LA right now! Yes we are having global warming and it’s wreaking havoc with my life. I have no AC in my old building and last night was so hot I couldn’t sleep.  If that’s what hot flashes feel like I want to die young .. egad!

Hmm well this horoscope isn’t hitting me square on the forehead since I’m boyfriendless (but at least am flirting/dating) and my professional life going really well.  I’m loving USC and am so happy that my friend M. thought of me (chuck one up for Junior League Los Angeles networking).  I do have to say that I’m  taking M. advice and practicing my flirting with a new dating app Jswipe (it’s a Jewish matchmaking site yes I know I’m not Jewish but am willing to halfheartedly convert).  I flirted hot and heavy with a cute all weekend but its way to hot to meet someone right now. I’m literally melting so won’t be looking my best.

(June 21-July 22):This is an ah-ha week! Something cathartic will happen inside of you, which will help make sense of your time and how valuable it truly is. This could literally be at work and getting a raise, or in your relationship, where you stop avoiding opportunities to be more romantic. Whatever it is, the chore aspect of life will fade, as a revelation of gratitude happens.Best Lay Day: Monday, September 8

Posted in culture, Dating, Horoscope, Los Angeles Tagged with: , , , , , , , ,

August 18th, 2014 by Cherry

Normally the match ads just pass over and are the usual bland not well done schlock you see all the time.  But this ad just rubs me the
wrong way on so many levels.  From the man who says a ‘girl I was interested in’ and the douche host shaking his fists urgh just makes me want to yell at the TV and say first of all I’m HOPING your dating women you look like your in your mid to late 30s so .. grow up and date a damn woman and not a girl!  Just the same as the ‘conversion’  <scream> conversion is just another word for a Peter Pan who doesn’t want to grow up and get in a relationship to justify playing  the field.  I watch this commercial and the entire time all I can think of is that this guy has this woman on hold as he keeps her as a ‘friend’ stringing her along as he decides rather he can ‘do better’.  By the time he realized NO she’s the best he can do she decided to stop wasting her time and looked around for someone who would choose her the way she choose him.  Not as someone who’s a backup or contingency plan or to be settled for .. rather that’s the impression they wanted to give it’s what I got from this commercial.  Or am I looking through LA Peter Pan dating eyeglasses?  Leave your thoughts below!

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August 11th, 2014 by Cherry

Hmm well this is an interesting horoscope for us cancers … well for me with the way I’m still figuring out what to do.   So I’m going to ignore these two horoscopes and say what I think will happen for this week.  I doubt that I will find love this week since my heart isn’t really in dating until the rest of my life settles down.  The funny thing is that I’ve had a couple of guys flirt with me  but since my head isn’t in a dating state it took me a little while to realize they were trying to chat me up.  But I must admit my mind is just all over the place dealing with my car, looking for a new contract job, bills bills bills and trying to think about next steps so .. no love for me!  But it does seem as if the economy is picking up since I’ve seen quite a few new jobs that look interesting so have sent my resume out like a whirlwind.  Am feeling a little disheartened that  job I really wanted hasn’t even called me in for an interview but am still hoping they are just in the preliminary stages (always looking for a silver lining in the clouds).  If they don’t hire me than it’s not the fate that the Gods have in mind for me.  Not that I know what the Gods want for me since even my dreams have been all over the place on the rare nights I’ve dreamed.  Which for me is very odd since I usually dream every night and it’s always been helpful in clearing my thoughts.

So all my cancer brothers and sisters how’s it going for you?  Do either of these fit with your life?  Leave a note in the comments section about what you think…..


Cancer (June 21-July 22): There is no telling how crazy someone is, unless you let them show you. Not to say you get what you deserve when you have to deal with another’s twisted ego, but that you have the power to limit your availability when it begins. Yes, once you open up a psychological Pandora’s Box this week, embrace the flight, not fight.

Best Lay Day: Friday, August 15

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

You’re able to speak your mind at work and get attention from the right people. Be mindful of your temper and don’t be concerned if your social life is not what you wish it were. Instead, put your mind to work. Jupiter and Venus will both help you make more money.

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June 22nd, 2014 by Cherry

I’ve watched Drop Dead Diva from the first show after seeing the ads Drop Dead Diva Series Finale Photosof a saucy plus sized woman with a grin that made me smile.  Jane being Jane was one of the things that I loved about Drop Dead Diva.  She wasn’t a sad sack plus sized woman but one who believed in love, she dated and was just (for a slapstick comedy) a normal woman who happens to be big.  Of course the fact that a confidant skinny model was REALLY on the inside helped but the creator/writers never had a moment where she announced she was going to starve herself or workout like a demon to get her ‘true’ body back.  Instead she accepted her body and enjoyment of food.  So not like a normal series where she would have gone on a diet and been recast with a skinny woman with blonde hair (oh wait her alter ego the ‘real Jane’ DID come back with a model body and blonde good looks).   I do think that they missed many opportunities to hand what it’s really like to be plus sized especially plus sized in Los Angeles (pretty brutal) or how being reborn in a body that is polar opposite would be disconcerting in the least but it’s a broad comedy and they didn’t really like to handle serious stuff.

Drop Dead Diva Series Finale PhotosAm I the only one who was ALWAYS on Team Owen who liked Jane just as she was with her dark hair and full figure.  I always thought that Grayson liked her DESPITE her new body.  That he still loved the original skinny blonde Jane but since she in a bigger body he’d overlook it.  The love triangle didn’t bother me but it brought out a side of Jane that I didn’t love all that much.  Especially during the wedding .. so not cool with the wedding and how they behaved (it was damned mean).

I still enjoyed the joy and many a sunday night it brought a smile to my face when I was feeling down.   Especially when I wasn’t feeling too pretty being a big woman win LA and not the ‘ideal’ that men are looking for (in my mind) but I need to stop assuming that I’m not dateable.  I usually like to pre-reject so that I don’t get my hopes but that just means I never try.  So I’ll be missing my girl Jane and plan to take a little Jane attitude in my dating life!  Am going to embrace me .. when I start to say that I’m not pretty or too old for love or just too goofy am going to say NO I look damned good.  I’m going to like myself just as I am right now instead of saying that when I lose weight or grow my hair long THAN I’ll be pretty and dateable.  Nope I’m going to ‘self love’ and like myself from head to toes.   Am going to be liking my curves, not assuming that nobody is interested and really seeing myself as a desirable attractive woman.

What made you a fan of Drop Dead Diva?

Posted in Comedy, TV Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

June 8th, 2014 by Cherry

I ALMOST missed an opportunity to flirt because well it’s a lazy no makeup/grunge Sunday aka I just roll out of bed, take a shower and toss on clean clothes kind of weekend.  So I have to say that I spent this weekend just tired after weeks on the phone with ATT Uverse/Cell Phone trying to set up new account and asking about cell phone upgrade.  It was like purposely running into a brick wall where staff told me to switch service (YES told me to switch service and asked me if I wanted to disconnect service) and the final straw was when a disgruntled customer service staff member deleted me out of the system!  It took DAYS for them to schedule someone to rehook up my WiFi and new TV service.  Really beyond frustrating so despite my excitement at starting a new job (yahoo) I was just tired and needed to deflate after spending hours on the phone (thank goodness for unlimited minutes!) and wanted to just spring clean/catch up on sleep and relax.

But the weather was so nice in Sunny Los Angeles that I decided to walk to the Grove for people watching, dog petting and checking out the newest science fiction/fantasy releases at Barnes and Noble.  As I was perusing the books looking at old favorite authors and new intriguing covers (LOVE feminist/poc friendly covers!).  I as usual smiled at people and moved out of the way cutting through the aisle.  Just a regular lazy day at the bookstore with people chatting, grabbing coffee and talking books (so among my people).  So imagine my (meet cute fantasy romantic) happy surprise when I see a really cute guy walk up and start to look at books in MY section!  I’ve ALWAYS wanted to ‘meet cute’ a guy in the science fiction/fantasy section of the bookstore.  so I looked at him out of the corner of my eye as he slowly drifted towards me looking at books.  I had zeroed in on a bright book cover (orange … so sunny that it just appealed to me viscerally) and as I was reading the description the man came right by me and reached for the newest Orson Scott Card novel.  I had fallen in love with A Shiver of Light by Laurell K. Hamilton that appealed to my mood for fantasy to take with me to San Diego Comic Con long train ride and since it’s all about fairies living in the modern world of crazy Los Angeles … well I’m all in!

Ooops got distracted by my love of reading from my ‘meet cute story’ well anyway he had put the book back and I smiled.   I said aloud ‘I haven’t read Orson since I was a kid .. he got to rapey for me!’ and we both laughed.  We chatted for about 10 minutes about favorite books from childhood to the authors we’re reading now.  Sadly he left to see a movie and didn’t ask for my number but it was still nice to get a little flirtation on with a good looking guy that shares common interests.  Maybe I’ll see him again and we’ll exchange numbers or more likely will never ever see him again unless he’s with his significant other (hence not asking for my number).

Ah well you have to take every opportunity to meet someone.  Always remember to smile and strike up a conversation with people.   You never know if you’ll meet someone.

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