Relationships are not just about compromise but also common interests with the person your dating. Now in that case I’m learning to tolerate .. well even like to walk and am working towards hiking since he’s an outdoorsy person. For me I’m a bit huge geek that loves seeing movies on opening weekend and for the big ones I buy tickets in advance. So last week since Yakob and I hadn’t really been going to the movies and blockbuster season is upon us I told him ‘I love movies and it’s important that I see certain big ones when they come out starting with Iron man’. In my mind I thought he would buy tickets in advance and we’d see the movie on Saturday and in his mind we’d go to the theatre Saturday night and grab tickets. Not surprisingly we didn’t see Iron Man 3 till Sunday afternoon. Now the lesson I learned in ‘Adventures in Socially Inept Dating” was that you have to communicate and clearly state what you want.
You also have to remember that the person your dating isn’t a fantasy creature from a romantic comedy that I will like everything you like, fulfill all of your fantasies and be a carbon copy of you. I keep having to remind myself my boyfriend is a sentient being who has his own likes and not a man come to life from my favorite romantic comedy ‘Bridgett Jones Diary’.
So I must admit it was unfair for me to get annoyed that he doesn’t really care about movies so is unlikely to buy tickets in advance or enjoy seeing them like I do. It maybe that I’ll need to find a movie buddy who’ll want to talk about the film, talk about the genre and compare it to the original/sequels. Since I want to enjoy Star Trek (been counting the days since the last film came out!), Superman and other geek centric action films that have always filled my summers. I’ve always had on the top of my dating list that my dream man is a science fiction geek and movie fan like myself but it turns out that I’ve met a good guy who doesn’t have every quality on my list. I’m quite sure I’m not perfect in his eyes either.
Hmm I must admit this is a rambling post on dating. Probably because I got super upset about the movie .. well not the movie but that he didn’t seem to listen to me when I told him it was important to see the movie opening weekend and also mad at myself for not going on Friday alone but had wanted to see it with him (in my fantasy he’d fall in love with seeing blockbuster movies and we’d spend the summer seeing all my action movies) so I didn’t get my commemorative Iron Man 3D glasses for my collection of geek stuff. In the future I’ll just see movies by myself or with one of my friends …. probably alone since I like to watch the previews and really focus on the movie with no conversation.
I swear all of the romantic comedies I grew up soaking in like oxygen has really left me with incredibly unrealistic dating fantasies that nobody can fulfill .. including myself! But like I said in the future I’m going to just be forthcoming and not expect him to read my mind or think like I do. Since not that many people think like I do and my way isn’t the ‘right way’ it’s just the way I want to do it.