So Did the Fat Lady
Louie meets somebody new.
Excuse me but I’m climbing on my soapbox so that I can ‘tell it like it is .. well like I feel’. This is one Fat Lady who wants to give her opinion!
I read all the accolades about the Louie Season 4 Episode ‘So Did the Fat Lady’ about how it was dealing with TV’s expectation of women being ‘perfect’ with fat schluby men (my words), just how even when a guy is fat, unattractive and broke he still has his ‘pick’ of women and that it’s not acceptable to date ‘fat’ .. oh and that it was a nuanced episode.
Well I disagree! I watched the episode and it pissed me off! It pissed me off as a fat woman (yes I said FAT), as a female, as a feminist and as someone who has a damn backbone. I’m not saying I haven’t been a fool in and about love but have I PAID someone to ‘cuddle’??? Heck no and I don’t know ANY women who would pay $5 let alone give some schlub like Louie $1200 tickets to some sort of event (something sport .. maybe basketball?? I don’t know or care but give to someone for free hell no!) So let me break it down why I found this ‘special’ episode a slap in the face of women who don’t fit in the Hollywood ideal of beauty.
- Just because we aren’t 20 doesn’t mean we don’t expect and deserve love, respect and courtesy.
- Not everybody is a thin young hottie and that’s OK.
- No woman has ever said all she’s looking for from a guy is someone to ‘cuddle’. We are sexual beings just like men and have desire. If I want something to cuddle I’ll get a damn dog!
- Normal sane women (not stalkers) are not going to keep asking a guy out OVER and OVER and OVER again! Those little scenes were ego boosts for Louie like women are falling over themselves to date him (yes because he has money & is on TV).
- I’m not going to BEG you to take me to coffee.
- I’m not going to PAY you to hang out with me AND if I were going to pay a guy to hang out with me … well he wouldn’t look like Louie!
- I have no issue with you not finding me attractive and no I won’t slit my wrist and HELL no I’ve never given some speech to a guy about dating frustrations (that I want to date)!!! I’ll kvetch to my friends (male and female) but some guy I’m trying to date??? No am not that crazy.
- Everyone eventually reaches a level of maturity where they date people who want to date them OR accept that they’ll be alone forever. You might want a supermodel but if you’re a broke ugly troll its REALLY unlikely you’ll find one to date you.
I feel a little better getting this off my chest. Nothing is more frustrating than having a fat guy try to inhabit my skin and tell me how I should feel. He doesn’t know and from this condescending episode he has the empathy of a man with money who’s able to date who he likes (within reason) so is looking out from a bubble onto the world. MOST people date/marry people who are equal in looks and that’s OK. But if he really wanted to thumb his nose at Hollywood’s expectation of beauty he’d have more diversity in women, in the guests on the show and have writers with less of a NY mancitric view. If the guest star had said screw you I don’t need to beg you instead of the ‘only guys who want talk with me want to use me for sex’. That’s an untrue fallacy that I (as a plus size woman) can say is untrue since I have men ask me out on dates.
I’m a fan of Louie and accept it for what it is .. a self centered man-glasses point of view life. I find it amusing since he’s such a sad sack woebegone sort of character but please don’t act like this episode was anything but his ‘man on a mountain’ telling everyone what he thinks is right.
Leave a comment below about what you think of dating while being a fat woman …
Shhh it’s a secret that XCVI is having their summer warehouse sale on July 13th & 14th DTLA. I LOVE their fashion it’s so comfy, light and airy perfect for these crazy hot days in Los Angeles and anywhere! July is almost here and we need comfy cute clothes to lounge around in on vacation, during the weekend and to workout! XCVI makes clothes in a diverse range of sizes from petite to plus size. More importantly they make clothes that look good on a variety of body types and their warehouse sale is the a great time to stock up on great items. I plan to get a sweatshirt, more tshirts to workout in and their cute cargo pants that hug my tush in all the right places!
I love their clothes so much that I plan to incorporate their pants in my sexy ninja costume when I walk for the 2013 Course of the Force fundraiser on behalf of SoCal Make-a-Wish Foundation to kick off San Diego Comic Con!!!
So my boyfriend (tee hee the newness hasn’t worn off) likes to go hiking and when your in a relationship you have to compromise. When I say compromise I mean the give and take you have you in a relationship (friendship, dating, family, work, etc.,). So I went hiking in Runyon Canyon and it was tough since I’m a gym rat kind of woman ala not an outdoors sort of person.
But he really enjoys being outside so I’ve been sunscreening and wearing comfy shoes. We usually just go for a long walk in Santa Monica for an hour but today he wanted to go hiking. So up the winding hill of Runyon we went. I won’t lie it was a tough walk but bearable since it was cool and the air was fresh with a breeze. I worked up a sweat just walking up the hill but Yakob wanted something a bit tougher so wanted to go down the side that is quite stiff. At first I said no since it looked scary as hell and I have a bit of a phobia with heights and falling (they go hand in hand). But Yakob said he’d guide me down and I could lean on him. At first it was scary but bearable and was feeling pretty good that I was facing my fears head on so to speak.
I even got so confident that I had Yakob take a photo of me looking tough but than I saw the scary drop and well I freaked out. I told him that I couldn’t go any further. I got so upset that I burst into tears from just the thought of going down the hill and fall down. Once he realized that I was super scared we walked back up the hill. But i feel bad that I wasn’t able to face my fear and walk down the hill. I got down farther than I thought since I was ready to quit a few times but with Yakob’s urging I went further than I would have ever done so good for me. But I really want to try to face fears and not allow my own weakness to keep me from moving forward. I’m sure you wouldn’t make the connection but for me you it’s the same fear that has kept me fat (food as comfort), fear of dating (don’t want to get hurt) and and thinking I deserve to be treated as well as I treat others.
I’ve been working the past two years on liking myself enough to hold myself in value and to not allow the little voice in my head that always says ‘I can’t do that’ and ‘Nobody wants to date a woman that looks like me (fat, plain). But I am working on being the person I want and have cut out those who put doubts in my confidence. Hmmm I suppose this seems as if I’m sad but I’m really not. I see nothing wrong with failing since the only things I regret are not trying.
When looking for love it’s not about settling but changing your mindset. I was watching my guilty secret Millionaire Match on Bravo with Patti Stanger who was giving some major gems once you tune out the craziness. They had Robin Kassner, an attractive plus sized woman seeking love in all the wrong places AGAIN! She turned to Patty for a second bite of the marriage apple in Los Angeles but didn’t get the reality of physical attraction. She wants what she wants but the problem seems to be what she wants doesn’t want her. I’m the first to say ‘don’t settle’ but do believe in reevaluation when your wants aren’t working.
If you want a super fit tall good looking man or woman you must ask yourself are you on the same physical footing? If not you are looking for a unicorn a creature out of fantasy that nobody has seen. Most people are with their equal or at least in the ballpark. You will see physical mismatches but often theirs a power or money dynamic where physical attraction or money is an equalizer.
If your unwilling to date your physical counterpoint don’t be surprised if your ideal isn’t seeking you out. So you have a couple of options…
1. Work on getting fit
2. Change your mindset
It’s as easy as that. I’m being sarcastic it’s not easy if it were everyone would find love and be happy.